Thoughts on the Death of Ravi Zacharias

As I was eating my breakfast last week prior to heading to MD Anderson for my cancer treatment, I read that Ravi was leaving MD Anderson to return to Atlanta to be with his family. His cancer treatments had failed to stop the spread of cancer. My first thought was about me. What chance do I have for a miracle if Ravi Zacharias didn’t get one. Ravi was a great soldier in the Lord’s army. He had an international platform from which to preach the gospel. He was one of the greatest apologists of our time. And he did not get his prayers answered. Today, he died.

Satan, of course, is quick to point out the futility in believing God for a miracle in my life. If Ravi can’t get one, what chance does Bill have? It would seem that I have no chance at all. It only makes sense doesn’t it, that if Ravi couldn’t get a miracle, then Bill can’t either. The problem with this line of reasoning is that it is based on man’s system, not God’s.

Man’s system is based on merit. This system states that the more one does or the better one is, the more he/she should be able to obtain from God. This system is based on a ranking, which rewards accomplishments. It also seems fair, doesn’t it? The more one accomplishes for God, the more one can expect to receive from God.

I did a word search on the word “fair” in the Bible. Fairness is only used by God to describe how judges should render their verdicts. The word is not used in how God relates to mankind. God does not treat us fairly. He treats us better than fair, he treats us with grace.

Grace is defined as unmerited favor from God. “Unmerited” is the key word. God’s favor is received by the believer based on God’s love for us, not by what we do to try to earn it. Grace takes the pressure off of me to merit God’s favor or blessings because I already have it.

We see God’s grace exhibited in the Old Testament in many different ways. God chose Abram to bless. Abram did not earn the blessing, God picked him to bestow His blessing on. God chose Jacob over his brother Esau through which the line of His blessing would flow. God chose David, the youngest and most unlikely male child of Jesse, to be king of Israel and to father the lineage of Christ. God chooses whom He will bless and how He will do it. He does this based on His plans to bring glory to Himself.

For reasons we will probably never understand, God did not chose to heal Ravi here on earth. For reasons we will probably never understand, God may choose to heal me. One thing is certain and that is this:  God’s decisions are not based on merit or favor or anything other than the accomplishment of His purposes to bring glory to Himself.

This makes my decisions regarding cancer treatments easier. God will decide. Joan and I are getting advice and treatments from the best cancer facility in the U.S., just as Ravi did. Beyond that we can’t do any more. The rest is in God’s hands. I can rest in His peace knowing that He has everything under control.

Texas Is Our New Home (For Now)

A lot has happened since my last blog posting. At the end of February 2019, Joan and I moved out of our apartment, put our furniture in storage and headed to Florida, planning to stay until the end of May. Because the clinical trial that I was in had now ended, I was now able to receive my chemotherapy in Florida. In April, scans showed the cancer had returned to both the liver and esophagus and we felt led to return to Fort Wayne for evaluation and treatment. Since I had done well initially with a chemo treatment plan called FOLFOX I went back on that chemotherapy. In July, we received some conflicting news and recommendations and since there was no longer a GI oncologist in the Fort Wayne area, we decided to take advantage of Parkview Hospital’s new relationship with MD Anderson, in Houston.

We traveled to Houston for scans and evaluation and were extremely impressed with the knowledge, options and personal care offered there. At MD Anderson’s recommendation I continued on the FOLFOX treatment in Fort Wayne.  

In late September, we returned to Florida. About that time, new scans at MD Anderson showed that the FOLFOX was becoming less effective in fighting the cancer. It was recommended that I receive radiation on the esophagus, which I received in October and November. The December scans showed that the tumor in the esophagus was significantly smaller, but the tumors in the liver were growing.  My treatment was changed to two different drugs which eventually were shown to not be effective in slowing the growth of the liver tumors.

In early March of this year, MD Anderson offered me a clinical trial of two drugs . One drug is OPDIVO.  It was developed by an MD Anderson researcher who received a Nobel prize for it in 2018. It is an FDA-approved drug which is being used in the treatment of several different cancers. The other drug is new and has shown great results in testing so far. Both drugs are immunotherapy drugs not chemotherapy. Immunotherapy drugs work with the body’s immune system to fight the cancer as opposed to chemo drugs which are toxic and try to fight the cancer. Immunotherapy drugs have fewer side effects than chemo and the side effects are less severe. Immunotherapy drugs for esophageal cancer did not even exist when I was first diagnosed.  In 2016, my oncologist in Fort Wayne said that immunotherapy drugs would be the only way I would ever be cured.

This is a phase 1 trial, which means I will absolutely receive the drug and not just have a 50/50 chance of getting the drug, like the trial I was in previously. The clinical trial requires me to be at MD Anderson on Day 1, Day 2, Day 5, Day 8 and Day 15 of the first treatment cycle. On the 28th day I will get my second treatment and then will not have to return for another 28 days.  Since during the first month we had to be in Houston so much, we decided that we would pack up our RV and move to Texas.  We plan to stay in Texas until mid-May and then slowly travel back to Indiana for the summer, stopping to visit friends in Tennessee.

The trial looks promising as a potential cure for esophageal cancer. Joan and I both feel that God made it very clear to us that this is where I need to be. We are excited about the possibilities of a drug that is effective against this cancer and we are excited about the possibilities of doing more traveling for fun, since I now have 28 days between treatments.

Yesterday, I had my first treatment. It went well. The drugs did not seem to affect me at all. I had 3 EKGs, 6 blood draws and my vital signs were taken 7 times. We arrived at MD Anderson at 8:00 am and left at 9:30 pm. It was a very long day but we are rejoicing that everything has gone so smoothly since leaving Florida, especially considering the many problems created by the COVID 19 virus.

God is so good. He is so faithful.  The Bible tells us that He promises to never leave or forsake us. When you read that or when you hear that, do you really believe it?  It's true.  You can believe it!  He never lies.  He never leaves us.  He never has and He never will.  Joan and I have chosen to put our complete faith, hope and trust in Him.

Your continued prayers are appreciated.