How are we doing?

If I were following this blog, and I’m grateful that many of you are, I would be wondering how we are doing emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The emotions are on overdrive. Generally, I think we are doing well emotionally, until we start talking about it. It’s so hard to accept this as our new normal. Joan says it feels like a bad dream that we must, somehow, wake out of.  I’m a mess of emotions when I try to talk about any of this and I hate it.

Mentally and spiritually I think we are right where we should be. We know that there is a good chance that my life will end much sooner than either of us had ever imagined. We also know that God, not the doctor, is in charge. We are trusting God to be Who He is – our Heavenly Father. He may heal me. He may not. In either case He will never leave me.

Trusting God. What does that look like? I have heard people (erroneously I believe) state that if we have enough faith then God will do whatever we ask. Of course, if the prayer is not answered then it is because the requester did not have enough faith.

It occurred to me recently as I was considering what it means to have trust in God, that my trust is not that He will produce a desired outcome, but my trust is that He will take care of me. I hope and pray that He sees fit to heal me, soon. But fortunately our hope in God extends far beyond this life. As Paul said, in 1 Corinthians 15:19, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.” Paul’s life was filed with difficulties, but his hope was in eternity.

Because of this hope in eternal life, we can discuss plans to leave this life with a great deal of peace, knowing that for the Christian, things will turn out for our best.

Don’t get me wrong, I will fight with all that is in me to prolong my life. I want to live. I want to see my grandchildren graduate from high school and college and get married and give us great grandchildren, etc. I want to share the gospel of Christ with more people. I want to expand the kingdom of God. Despite what I want for my life, I submit to His will for my life, whatever that looks like.

I thank God for the peace and comfort He has given us during this time. I also regularly thank God for you that are lifting us up. Your prayers for us are truly felt.